Each year, the 9/11 memorial date eases a little in intensity, and feels as though it’s almost emotionally manageable. This year followed suite, and as the e-mails and text messages from the volunteer police officers and therapists of CISM (Critical Incident Stress Management) teams from over 60 different police departments flowed through my laptop, I remembered the conflicting emotions I experienced as I met and worked with so many selfless people who gave of themselves to help the first responders so damaged by the trauma of the World Trade Center. Their kindness and caring stood in sharp contrast with the grief and sadness caused by the friends and co-workers that I had lost in the towers.
Each day this week, I wrote in the black book my intentions for the day. My entries were written expressions of my need for guidance and direction through the emotional mine field of my memories of 9/11. As it has for over the last fourteen years, my Thinking Anew discipline provided inspiration, direction and resolution. It manifested in the form of e-mails and text conversations, through which I exchanged loving communications with former strangers who have somehow become intimate, essential members of my support system, via an annual reminiscent connection.
As always, I received what I asked for, and got what I needed. Keep writing. It works.